Asana Startup Launches Into the Universe; Uses Pets to Make Money

Monthly Business Report

Asana Startup Launches Into the Universe

November 2011

What the LA Times knows: Asana is a startup worth covering. Bloomberg Business Week and The New York Times agree.

Asana’s grand plan? To make money off of software that improves work productivity and collaboration.

Created by the co-founder of Facebook, aka the WORLD’S YOUNGEST BILLIONAIRE, Dustin Moskowitz, and his friend Justin Rosenstein (no idea who HE is), this embarrassingly hippie/hipster, Burning Man-loving, ”Om”-murmuring tech startup in San Francisco’s Mission District launched today. While its computer programmers are probably getting high-- picture them sporting Mohawks and henna, giving shout-outs to each other at office meetings (and worse, give one another lots of spontaneous gushy appreciation messages), The Plan To Make Money has officially begun, and only time will tell whether Asana and The World’s Youngest Billionaire will win the race against Google Docs and other collaborative software makers.

Says the LA Times:

“It's an ambitious gambit for a young start-up. Moskovitz and Rosenstein are newcomers to the competitive business of selling business software. Asana is going after the lucrative businesses of technology giants such as Microsoft that have been making productivity and collaboration software for years. Google has also been making inroads in business software with Google Docs. Other upstart rivals include Salesforce.com, Yammer and Jive which have sprung up more recently.

But Moskovitz and Rosenstein say the cumbersome and slow software that most companies produce has not convinced people to stop relying on email and Post It notes to plan tasks and keep up with their colleagues on a project.

"Other people have tried to crack this nut before. All the solutions are fundamentally failing. We know that because no one has adopted them, even companies that pay for fancy collaboration software, it just sits on the shelf," Rosenstein said.

Asana, which has 19 employees in San Francisco's Mission District and has raised $10.2 million from investors including Benchmark Capital and Andreessen Horowitz, has been beta testing the software since last year with thousands of users at hundreds of companies. One of those companies is the sports and entertainment talent agency Wasserman Media Group, which uses it to organize its executive team.

Asana is taking an unconventional approach to promoting its business software. Usually a company's top IT manager buys productivity software. Asana is giving away its software free to groups of up to 30 people in hopes that once employees become enamored with the software, they will persuade their companies to buy a paid version with more features that Asana plans to release down the road.”

And now,

let’s go to the REAL STORY OF THE DAY:

World’s Youngest Billionaire Says, Pets at Work = Secret to Success

Asana’s new proposal for deploying kittens in its office was released on its website today. Written in characteristically dorky engineering speak, the proposal may be a sign that PETS at WORK are a good thing and help even us in The Plans To Make Money. Obviously if the Youngest Billionaire In The WORLD is doing it, we should do—Dogs, at work. YES.

Asana’s Proposal for Office Kittens Deployment 

\Go HERE for photos--> http://asana.com/kittens

[DRAFT]

1. Introduction

1.1 Goals

1.       Create shareholder value

2.       Maximize cuteness

1.2 Non-Goals

1.       Reduce server load and data storage requirements

2. Summary

We propose acquiring two small kittens, and installing them in the Asana office. The kittens are expected to frolic, take naps, cuddle with each other and other office occupants. It is also likely that they will engage in various acts of adorableness and displays of affection.

3. Alternative Solutions

A few alternatives were considered, and while they each have compelling benefits, were ultimately dismissed.

3.1 Office Llama

Pros:

·        fun to say

·        could be used as short-range transportation

Cons:

·        spits at people and/or monitors

·        may be difficult to bring up the stairs

·        may require having office rezoned as a farm

3.2 Office Killer Robot

Pros:

·        provides strong security guarantees

Cons:

·        will murder us all, possibly reducing shareholder value

·        increase our electricity usage

4. Design Considerations

4.1 Age

While younger kittens are cuter, they are also more helpless. We propose a target age of 12 weeks. Seehttp://www.all-about-cute-kittens.com/kitten-growth-chart.html

4.2 Breed

The main consideration for breed is the potential for allergies. As there doesn’t appear to be hypoallergenic breed, we propose any short-haired breed. See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cat_allergy

4.3 Gender

Studies show that female cats are less likely to cause allergies, so we recommend females.

4.4 Count

We recommend exactly two kittens. Since the cats will spend time alone in the office, having two would reduce the anthropomorphically projected boredom they experience. Having more than two risks having Asana be branded as a crazy cat lady, potentially reducing shareholder value.

5. Integration Plan

It’s our belief that the kittens will integrate seamlessly into the existing office infrastructure. Though it’s hard to foresee possible incompatibilities, there are countless examples of kittens being deployed in production. Furthermore, it’s our belief that kittens are specifically well suited to Asana’s existing investments.

5.1 Supporting Infrastructure

In order to support the deployment of Office Kittens, we will also need to deploy automated food and water delivery systems, as well as a waste removal system. These systems are relatively cheap, and several Asana employees have previous experience installing, operating, and maintaining them in production.

6. Internationalization Plan

Dude, they are cats.

7. Monitoring and Logging

There is currently no monitoring or logging plan, but it is possible that in the future we may want to set up video equipment either in the office, or on the cats themselves.

8. Security

It’s our belief that the kittens will provide a sufficient amount of security and no additional provisions will be necessary.

9. Additional Benefits

There is an existing body of evidence that suggests we can expect additional benefits from this deployment. Though it should be noted that most of it is anecdotal, and there have not been any peer-reviewed studies. That said, we might gain significant increases in efficiency across all our departments, from IT to accounting.

10. Authors

David Braginsky 
Malcolm Handley

11. Revision History

REVISION	ACTION TAKEN, NOTES	WHEN?	BY WHOM?
0.1	Creation	02/16/2011	David Braginsky