"Springtime for Hitler" by Mel Brooks, click to watch the --> song and dance from The Producers (1968) <--
A farcical Hitler reinvented by Quentin Tarantino: --> the 8 second video from Inglorious Bastards <--
Brad Pitt was in Inglorious Bastards. Which was a movie with Nazis in it. In the movie, Brad Pitt cuts a guy's face. Then, in Legends of the Fall, Brad Pitt cuts a guy's scalp off. So, this is my segue into...
LEGENDS OF THE FALL:
This movie's plot deals with 3 handsome brothers, the youngest of whom is not so handsome but is nevertheless implausibly beloved by his two older brothers. This youngest runt brother somehow manages to get the best fiance ever-- the most gorgeous, intelligent, and ruggedly athletic woman any of the brothers have ever laid eyes on (julia ormond circa 1994).
Then the youngest runt, who is high-strung, overly righteous, and even prudish, decides to go fight the Germans in Europe during World War I. Well, that's perfectly fine for anyone watching the movie, because the youngest brother is annoying and he's holding Julia Ormond back from getting with Brad Pitt. The problem is, the two older brothers say they have to go to war TOO, because they want to protect Youngest Runt Brother. Predictably, Youngest Runt gets killed in the war. He practically asked for it. So did I, except I would never ask for him to get knocked off the big screen in such a graphic, disgusting, torturous "I'm blind from poisonous gas/ stuck on barbed wire/ yelling for my big brother Tristan/ violently riddled with machine guns/ spitting up fake blood" kind of way.
(This is when Crazy Eyes, aka Brad Pitt in Native American warrior mode, goes on a scalping spree of Germans in stupid-looking helmets. He just can't stand that the Germans took away the least likeable character in the whole movie, so this is what he goes and does. Talk about saintly love. Then, when he returns to camp on horseback with a bunch of bloody scalps, this is the only time I know of in cinematic history when an Aryan-looking "Sexiest Man Alive" winner thinks he's an Indian, cuts his own brother's heart out to bury back in like Montana, and of course, gets stared at by a bunch of shocked-looking white dudes playing soldiers fighting the Germans in WWI. )
After Youngest Brother dies, eldest brother returns to Montana or wherever they are from, and then the movie shows the eldest brother with the father, saying to Father, "He was the best of all of us," referring to the beloved Youngest Runt. In reality, the youngest brother was the worst of all of them, the most expendable in the film, and the one you want to go away already so that Brad Pitt can get with Julia Ormond and cause the whole family to rip apart, because in case you don't know already, Eldest Brother loves Julia too. This could get complicated except for one thing. She rejects Eldest Brother.
Julia doesn't like the Eldest brother that way, and she has the hots for Brad. Luckily, the casting agent for the movie succeeded in making another obvious decision, and made sure that the Eldest brother isn't as hot as Brad Pitt circa '94. This is as far as I've gotten in the movie but I already feel satisfied knowing that unbelievable things happen in this mostly-unridiculous movie, and that, finally, the Youngest Brother is officially never going to show his face in the movie again.
......time lapse....
Well now that I am done with the movie, I can say, it kind of has the makings of a disappointing yet not un-entertaining movie.
This movie's plot deals with 3 handsome brothers, the youngest of whom is not so handsome but is nevertheless implausibly beloved by his two older brothers. This youngest runt brother somehow manages to get the best fiance ever-- the most gorgeous, intelligent, and ruggedly athletic woman any of the brothers have ever laid eyes on (julia ormond circa 1994).
Then the youngest runt, who is high-strung, overly righteous, and even prudish, decides to go fight the Germans in Europe during World War I. Well, that's perfectly fine for anyone watching the movie, because the youngest brother is annoying and he's holding Julia Ormond back from getting with Brad Pitt. The problem is, the two older brothers say they have to go to war TOO, because they want to protect Youngest Runt Brother. Predictably, Youngest Runt gets killed in the war. He practically asked for it. So did I, except I would never ask for him to get knocked off the big screen in such a graphic, disgusting, torturous "I'm blind from poisonous gas/ stuck on barbed wire/ yelling for my big brother Tristan/ violently riddled with machine guns/ spitting up fake blood" kind of way.
(This is when Crazy Eyes, aka Brad Pitt in Native American warrior mode, goes on a scalping spree of Germans in stupid-looking helmets. He just can't stand that the Germans took away the least likeable character in the whole movie, so this is what he goes and does. Talk about saintly love. Then, when he returns to camp on horseback with a bunch of bloody scalps, this is the only time I know of in cinematic history when an Aryan-looking "Sexiest Man Alive" winner thinks he's an Indian, cuts his own brother's heart out to bury back in like Montana, and of course, gets stared at by a bunch of shocked-looking white dudes playing soldiers fighting the Germans in WWI. )
After Youngest Brother dies, eldest brother returns to Montana or wherever they are from, and then the movie shows the eldest brother with the father, saying to Father, "He was the best of all of us," referring to the beloved Youngest Runt. In reality, the youngest brother was the worst of all of them, the most expendable in the film, and the one you want to go away already so that Brad Pitt can get with Julia Ormond and cause the whole family to rip apart, because in case you don't know already, Eldest Brother loves Julia too. This could get complicated except for one thing. She rejects Eldest Brother.
Julia doesn't like the Eldest brother that way, and she has the hots for Brad. Luckily, the casting agent for the movie succeeded in making another obvious decision, and made sure that the Eldest brother isn't as hot as Brad Pitt circa '94. This is as far as I've gotten in the movie but I already feel satisfied knowing that unbelievable things happen in this mostly-unridiculous movie, and that, finally, the Youngest Brother is officially never going to show his face in the movie again.
......time lapse....
Well now that I am done with the movie, I can say, it kind of has the makings of a disappointing yet not un-entertaining movie.
(yes, this is recycled from an old facebook note. excuse me.)
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